Holding his newborn child for the first time, an OU mechanical engineering student could barely express his mixture of shock and joy.
“It definitely felt like a dream,” sophomore Aubrey Willis said.
Having clocked a solid month as father of baby Jayla Marie, Willis joins the ranks of student parents who make up E-Moms and Dads, an organization dedicated to helping find the delicate balance between a life of academia and parenthood.
Susana Rodriguez, president of E-Moms and Dads, said the organization coalesced two years ago because of the lack of groups geared toward student parents.
“The goal is to at least have a support system around campus,” Rodriguez said. “It’s fun, [but] the only thing is that sometimes ... the parents are so busy.”
This Friday, E-Moms and Dads will welcome Willis as a new parent.
“We want to give them information about housing, help from Oklahoma Department of Human Services and other resources,” Vice President Diana Lucero said. “It’s not like they’re going to know everything about being a student parent.”
Willis said there is much to gain from this resource.
“They have an insight that you don’t have yet, and I think it’ll only make it easier,” Willis said.
Approximately 10 families participate in the organization, but Rodriguez said more families are hard to find because OU doesn’t keep a register of student parents.
Although their schedules overflow with an array of parental and academic duties, the parents arrange movie nights, kite-flying days and other kid-friendly activities, Rodriguez said.
“One time ... we had [human services] speak with the parents and give them resources,” Rodriguez said. “One thing we want to implement is a group day care system. If one of us needs to study, we trust each other to watch over our children while we work.”
Because students’ hours vary significantly, it can be difficult to arrange day care for children, Lucero said. The life of a student parent requires stringent organization.
As a parent herself, Rodriguez said patience became part of her lifestyle.
“Your son or daughter will come and say, ‘I’m hungry,’ ... [and] you’ll have to get up and put down what you’re studying.” Rodriguez said. “You learn to appreciate your parents and understand why they tell you all of these things.”
As a greenhorn father, Willis said he can relate to the trials and tribulations.
“When the baby’s awake, there’s not much you can do about it,” Willis said.
The proximity of Jayla’s December due date to finals week left Willis on edge.
“I thought, ‘Well, I can’t miss the birth of my child,’ but my professors left the door open when it came to alternate test dates,” Willis said. “Other than that, I bit the bullet and worked with what I had.”
Although Willis said he doesn’t feel entirely different as a new father, he sees the arrival of his daughter as a new phase in his life.
“[I love] seeing what she pays attention to and how she grows,” Willis said. “Every day, it seems like there is something new.”
Despite all the accompanying joy, Rodriguez said a prevalent, negative stereotype exists for student parents.
“I always thought that you should never see pregnancy as a barrier ... to your education,” Rodriguez said. “You should see it as a challenge to growing up and becoming a better person.... It never crossed my mind not to go to college.”
And it didn’t cross Willis’ mind either, he said.
“[Leaving college] really wasn’t really an option,” Willis said. “The thing that’s going to create the best situation for my family is to finish school. By the time I finish school, if I can create a better atmosphere, a better life, ... that’s the time that’s really going to matter.”
Raising Jayla with the help of his girlfriend, Willis said he is combatting another generalization about student parents.
“Both my parents work, [and] both of my girlfriend’s parents work,” Willis said. “If I’m not [depending on them], then I’m breaking the stereotype that [student parents] rely on others for help.”
With an open mind and confident stance, Willis said he looks forward to the unique challenges ahead.
“It’s definitely my future, and it’s going to happen.”
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simp9830 3 months, 1 week ago
Great story Jake! Very informing about an organization I knew nothing about. I am a student parent as well. Between a wife, two young children and all the things accompanying family life, it is very hard to balance studying and being active in college organizations, plus the necessary internships necessary to get a good job after graduation. I only wish you had provided contact information for the group, as I will be looking into it further.